Back
by kywildcat
Summary: Immediately Post-Exodus - A/U - What happens when those from New Caprica are BACK with the fleet and secrets start to surface. This is is an old story of mine from another site no longer available. I have only found 18 of 21 chapters so I've had to do some re-writing...starting with Chapter 1. Please enjoy! Primarily Roslin & Adama but lots of other Characters make an appearance!
1. Chapter 1

Back Chapter 1:

 **Chapter 1**

….

Chaos and confusion surrounded them. There were bullets flying in all directions and fallen bodies were everywhere. This was the beginning of the end of the Cylon occupation on New Caprica. Decisions had been made, meetings held and the timing had been meticulously planned; everyone knew their roles.

Former President Laura Roslin lay on the floor of her cell on her 4th trip to detention and after the last 10 days she was physically numb and on the verge of going into shock when she heard a voice calling her back from the precipice upon which she now teetered.

"Madame President!" the sudden outburst had started her.  
At hearing a voice she recognized, her brain started to try to work through the fog that had become her coping mechanism try to reply…"What...who's there...Saul? Is that you?"  
"Yes ma'am – it's time and we're getting you out of there but it's going to require blowing up this wall. You need to be as far away as possible. Is there anything in there that could protect you?"

Laura looked around frantically – solitary had made her suspicious as it would anyone – was this just a trick? She had conflicting emotions of both fear and excitement as she prepared for a what would either be a cruel joke or a real rescue. Looking around the cell confirmed it was indeed bare except for a blanket she'd been given to use as a makeshift bed – it wasn't much but she quickly wrapped herself in it after realizing that most of her clothing was cut or torn exposing her to the elements.

She pressed herself into the opposite corner of her cell feeling every bruise and laceration throb but she held fast. One way or another she was getting out of this; either by the hands of the resistance who were there to take her back to the fleet or by the Cylons whom she knew would take anywhere except to the fleet. She waited mere minutes but it felt like an eternity. Panic rose within her as she hard the thunder of metal against concrete as the cylons headed her way when suddenly the explosion erupted pushing back the advancing cylons and filling the area with light as the dust cleared.

"Laura, come on let's go!" called Saul.

Saul Tigh – now that was an interesting man. They'd had their differences but they also had gained a mutual respect and had become friends during their time on New Caprica both in and out of Cylon detention. One of those trips had cost him an eye and for that her heart went out to him and she found she also forgave much of his anger. They were aligned in their grief for all who had suffered and lost as they both worked in their own ways to preserve the fleet.

Somehow, she found herself moving – the evacuation plan had assigned her 2 escorts who would take her and meet up with Tori en route to Colonial One. Adrenaline was coursing through her as they ran everyone trying to keep their bearings and make sure as many as possible got out alive and in one piece. She was the 5th person to board Colonial One preceded only by her security and Tori giving the all clear. She immediately settled behind her desk and fell silent wrapping the blanket from her cell tighter around her. She sat still as a statue staring out the window – as they lifted from the ground her breathing started to return to normal and the rush of energy abated bringing her back to the brink of an emotional paralysis. She knew somewhere in her mind that there would be many jumps that would bring them to a safe enough place to regroup and re-establish the entire fleet. She could wait.

Admiral Adama stood in CIC barking orders continually. The cylons weren't going to give up easily and the only real defense the fleet had was the Galactica and the Pegasus but he'd told Lee to meet them at the rendezvous point which left Galactica on her own. The base stars just kept coming and the admiral had now prepared to shift his mission that had originally included all ships returning to the rendezvous point to a new resolve of determination. They would stand fast, protect the fleet and ensure their survival even if it meant the end for himself and the ship he had lived so many years of his life for. Serving in the military had prepared him to die in battle and if he was going to be able to take out a couple of cylon base stars in the process, well that was all the better.

He thought briefly of Lee and just as quickly his thoughts then turned to Laura and while it almost broke him a whispered "I love you" managed to escape his lips. Taking a deep breath, he refocused. "Take us in – keep us between the cylons and the fleet".

Static suddenly echoed through the CIC –"Galactica this is Pegasus do you copy?"

The admiral grabbed the phone yelling back, "Pegasus this is Galactica Actual – what are you doing here?"

"How about you let us take some of the heat off you?"

"Commander you were given your orders"

"Yes sir, we decided we didn't like them, besides why let you have all the fun – no one gets left behind remember?"

"Damn it Lee, get out of here!"

"No can do Dad – we've lost enough I am not ….WE are not losing you too."

Drawing the fire of the base stars gave Galactica enough time to realign her FTL drives so they could make the jump. The Pegasus accomplished what it's Commander intended and was now starting to fail.

"Gods Lee, get out of there in one piece"

Commander Lee Adama gave the abandon ship call and positioned Pegasus' trajectory to do the most cylon damage possible. He was the last to leave and quickly landed his raptor in Galactica's bay with the rest of what remained of his crew.

Quiet – as the Admiral stood in CIC he couldn't help but practically feel the weight of the quiet….for now…As they jumped again, ships started checking in.

"Colonial One to Galactica"  
"Go ahead Colonial One this is Galactica"  
"Requesting permission to dock, we lost our FTL drive and 50% of thruster control after that last jump."  
"Granted, please prepare to dock using landing bay 4"

Over an hour later Colonial One sat in Galactica's hanger – her pilots completing shutdown. In the shambles of Baltar's office Tori was ready to get back to business but since leaving New Caprica it was obvious something was off with Laura Roslin, she hadn't said a word or barely even blinked.

"Madame President?"  
"I'm not the President anymore" was the whispered response.  
"That's simply a technicality ma'am, that will change soon enough."

Admiral William Adama entered the landing bay about 2 hours after the final jump. There were people everywhere but he had a short list...Lee, Kara, Saul and Laura...he wasn't sure if he'd find them here or if he'd find them at all but it was a place to start. Lee was first – safe an unharmed he enveloped him into a hug.

"Commander you disobeyed a direct order"  
"Sir, I apologize I know I but..." his father cut him off  
"It's o.k. son – I just thank the Gods you're o.k. and by the way, thank you"

Lee was quickly pulled in by the throngs of people happy to see him and Bill knew he'd have time later to catch up with his son, so the Admiral continued his search.

Next was Saul Tigh – he'd caught a glimpse of him coming out of a raptor and made his way over. He immediately noticed the eye patch and from the brief discussion that followed came the realization that Ellen hadn't made it back. Bill Adama knew the road for his friend would be long and painful. It wasn't until the crowd had gathered and pulled the Admiral up on their shoulders in joy and celebration that his eyes found Kara Thrace across the bay.

"What do you hear Starbuck?"  
"Nothin' but the rain Admiral." With that Kara jumped into his arms. This man has been more of father to her than anyone in her life and just as any true father would, he'd fought to bring her home safe and as Bill cupped her cheek with his hand she felt in that moment her family was finally back together.

The Admiral couldn't help but ask "Have you seen President...I mean Ms. Roslin?"  
Starbuck smiled to herself, the old man always did hide his personal feelings in public so she decided to get in her digs while she could. Kara couldn't help it, she knew the Old Man had feelings for Laura Roslin – She also knew that NOT everyone knew that which made what she about to say all the more fun.

"You know she's got a first name right?"

"Starbuck…." his voice was warning  
"I mean I know… that you know… that she has a first name... why all the formalities..."  
"Lt. Thrace" he was clearly done going down this road.

Opting for a smarter choice given the reaction she was getting she replied simply with "No sir, I don't know if she is..." and she paused as she realized what she was about to reveal. …unfortunately, the admiral didn't miss much.

"What is it?"  
"Uhhhh nothing Sir, just that well, I wanted to say, what I meant to say is I don't know if I said Thank you. You...uhhh, you should know that Laura kept us going down there until you were able to come back for us. She never let us loose hope or faith and you did it, you came back, you didn't leave us there. How can I, how can we ever repay that?"

"As far as you are concerned Starbuck, your butt back in a viper works for me although I can't say I recall you and the President seeing eye to eye on too much recently, what changed?"  
"You were right – I just had to give her a chance…Down there, lots of things changed for all of us." Kara started fidgeting and looking anywhere but at Bill and while he knew her "tells" he decided to let it go for now.

"Okay...by the way, make sure you get the all clear from Doc Cottle – don't think I didn't feel those bandages around your waist. I know medical treatment was hard to come by before but that is all over now"

"Admiral – there are others of us who are in more urgent need of that medical attention..." She paused momentarily – o.k. deep breath, time to tell the old man this is what she had not been wanting to tell him ..."Okay no easy way…..I'm afraid our Laura may be one of them."

"Why?... What happened?" his voice was quiet, concerned but urgent.  
"I don't... she should be the one…."  
"Damn it Kara – out with it"  
"She may be fine –she's spent a lot of time in cylon detention – That's where she was when the rescue started. I haven't seen her since before they took her in this last time but I know it wasn't good, it was never good."

She'd finally gotten that off her chest – she'd deal with the consequences later if Laura was pissed that she'd told the Admiral but she knew he'd figure it out sooner or later anyways. She turned and headed towards her gear when the Admiral's voice stopped her.

"Captain – I wasn't kidding – I need you in the air but not until Cottle has cleared you. Are we understood?"  
"Yes Sir" Kara half saluted and headed out of the hanger muttering profanities under her breath all the way. Adama chuckled to himself – he loved her spirit. She may not have been born to him but she was as much as daughter to him as anyone could be. His happy thought was fleeting though as her words echoed in his head, Laura was in cylon detention – gods was she all right – is that why he hadn't seen her yet?

He decided to head to LifeStation – uneasiness was rising in his gut– this wasn't like her. It had taken some time and some yelling but he'd finally gotten Cottle to check all the records and he confirmed that she wasn't there nor had she been. A couple of calls to CIC determined she wasn't in any of the guest quarters which meant she was either in the hanger, wandering the ship or Gods forbid not even on board at all.

As the Admiral made his way back to the hanger he first noticed that most of the crowd had thinned. There was still plenty of Euphoria but also a shift from relief to a refocusing of energies. The work of getting the fleet back up and running again has begun. Pride coursed through him as he realized no one had ordered them back to their duties, they were doing it on their own– he'd trained them well and they were coming through for him when it mattered.

Military training hones your skills and senses. You are trained to notice the little things which is why he noticed a small detail of guards at the doors of Colonial One – guards meant one thing – she was there. He was instantly relieved to know she was on board but wondered why she was still inside. The guards didn't even try to stop him as he briskly walked by them. His eyes were scanning, searching and he heard someone talking.

"Please Madame President, please answer me... we should be getting cleaned up and out of here... ma'am are you o.k.?" There was no reply, "Do you want me to get the doctor?" still no answer..."Can I get anyone?!" Tori was getting nervous now as she was still faced with silence.  
"Tori?" It was a deep masculine voice but she knew who it was immediately spinning around to face him, "Admiral! Maybe you can get her to talk, move…anything."  
"What's wrong with her?"  
"I don't know, she's been like this ever since we left the surface."  
"O.k. Tori – why don't you go get yourself checked out and get set up in the guest quarters. We need to make sure you're all right too"  
"I don't really want to leave her sir..."  
"Tori – it's alright, I'm not going to leave her"  
"Well, I guess, alright – Thank you Admiral" with that Tori quietly disembarked and headed towards LifeStation.

Bill Adama watched the curtain fall closed behind Tori – he appreciated her loyalty and made a mental note to thank her for that later, he turned around and focused on the only other person there and the last but possibly most important person he'd needed and wanted to make sure he saw made it back from New Caprica alive and in one piece...Laura.


	2. Chapter 2

Back Chapter 2

Laura Roslin – former President of the 12 Colonies of Kobol sat behind her desk looking a little worse for wear wrapped in and awful dirty blanket. Admiral William Adama stood across from her desk not quite sure where to start.

"Laura" it was a whisper on his lips – a whisper filled with emotion he didn't yet understand and couldn't take the time now to comprehend as the logical commander in him came to the surface. A calm head needed to prevail at this moment and the man in him simply felt too much right now. He'd expected her to look up at him at least but nothing – no response – something was clearly wrong but exactly what that was didn't know yet. He moved closer to her approaching her line of sight.

"Bill?" It was barely a whisper – she still wasn't looking at him and had he not seen her lips move, he would have questioned if she'd even spoken at all. He was confused as to why she questioned that it was him – couldn't she see him? Concern was starting to creep into his mind. Everything about her was setting off red flags – her behavior, her appearance, her present state of something which he could only label as fear or shock.

Assess the situation that is what his mind was telling him – why was she so scared? He reached out to touch her and she pulled herself even further back away into the chair. It was then that he remembered what Kara had told him - the cylons had her in detention when the rescue began – calm – he needed to calm her down – go slow Bill – words of comfort.

"Laura, it's me, it's Bill, you're safe now – you're on Galactica – Laura, can you hear me? Please look at me…"

Her mind was spinning – part of her was aware of what was going on around her and part of her was still back in the detention cell on New Caprica. Bill Adama's voice floated through the haze – she was beginning to hope it was all real but she couldn't let he guard down…not yet. She'd been through this before and was hurt many times when she thought he'd been there only to realize it was a cylon mind game.

"Laura, focus on my voice – can you look at me, please? Try to remember - do you remember the rescue? Do you remember getting to the ship, leaving New Caprica?"

Bits and pieces of memories were coming back to her – the sound of Saul's voice telling her to take cover, the sound of the cylons approaching, the explosion, running, running so fast she was so scared. Why can't I feel anything – only numbness – but she could smell something, something familiar something she had never smelt before when the cylons were playing their mind games with her – she could smell HIM – Bill – Admiral Adama – Galactica – Safety – Home – tears began to well up in her eyes and she began to shake.

He kept speaking softly not wanting to startle her – "That's it, easy Laura just breathe. It's all right, you're safe – you're going to be o.k. I'm going to come a little closer alright?"

Internally he reminded himself to stay quiet and move slowly and he couldn't help but begin to worry about what the hell had happened to her down there – he could see her trembling – crying – practically paralyzed with fear.

She felt him getting closer and closer – his voice was so soothing, calming. She caught a glimpse of motion – her eyes were trying to refocus but her fear reflex was still winning out.

"We need to have Doc Cottle look at you – we need to get you to sickbay – you need to get cleaned up and in clean warm clothes. She wrapped the blanket tighter, protectively around herself. Noting this but not understanding the meaning he made a natural assumption and asked, "Are you cold?"

Adama was now kneeling in front of her gently extending his hand hoping she would take it. Hoping something he was saying was getting through to her. Please Gods, let something be getting through to her. All she saw was a hand reaching for her - trying to grab her.

"NO!"

Her yell startled him and he quickly withdrew his hand. At least she was finally speaking.

"Easy, it's o.k., it's all right, you are safe, and I'm not going to hurt you I need you to try to focus. Can you do that Laura?"

Laura's mind was beginning to clear, she could hear him, he was calming, and he wasn't pushing or probing for information which was new and different from the other times. There had always been so many questions before…maybe, just maybe this was not like before.

"I remember..."

"What Laura, what do you remember?"

"Saul"

"Yes that's good, What about him?"

"He came to get me from...did he...?" Her voice drifted off.

"Yes Laura he's safe. Saul is here on Galactica too, the doctors are making sure he's alright but he's in one piece I saw him myself. He got out Laura, he got you both out."

"I can't believe it"

"What?"

"It can't be real."

"I assure you, this is real – we lost the Pegasus but we got as many as humanly possible away from there. I still can't believe I let you go there – I should've made you stay here where you'd be safe. I'm so sorry Laura…" his voice struggled to keep from breaking as tears sprung to his eyes.

That was what finally got through her final defenses – slowly she turned her head and looked at him square in the eye. Her normally piercing eyes seemed to sad and distant he felt an overwhelming desire to wrap his arms around her and protect her forever but she was clearly fragile at this moment he didn't want to do anything that would overwhelm her.

"Not your fault."

"Like hell it's not – I should've protected the fleet, I should have protected you!"

"You came back"

"Of course I did, there was no way I was leaving anyone behind least of all you."

She began looking around asking "How long?"

"I don't understand...?"

"How long have we been here?" She was taking in her surroundings – she now was aware that she was on Colonial One but he had said Galactica...maybe it wasn't as real as she thought.

"About 4 hours"

"You said we were on Galactica, this isn't Galactica."

"No….Yes…I mean…Colonial One is docked inside Galactica's bay – lost most of the thruster control and all of the FTL drive a few jumps back. We should really get you out of here."

He again extended his hand to her. "Please Laura, take my hand, and let me get you out of here."

She looked at him, watched him extend his hand to her, she wanted to trust him. Slowly the grip she had around herself loosened and one frail hand found its way out from under the blanket and visibly trembled as she reached for him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Laura could feel herself starting to weaken more as the fatigue continued to plague her body and mind. She was now almost desperate to believe that her memories were accurate and that this was real. Finally reaching out for him she grabbed onto his hand with everything she had left.

Bill breathed a momentary sigh of relief seeing her start to reach out to him. He had finally got her to let him in but that relief was short lived as he immediately noticed the fresh red blood covering her hand.

"Laura, you're bleeding! Where are you hurt? We've got to get you to sick bay immediately.

"NO! Please" the fear was instantly back in her eyes

"But you clearly need medical attention"

"Bill you don't understand, I WON'T go there!" She was squeezing his hand so tightly that he couldn't believe the strength she had left after everything.

"What, why…Laura you need to calm down, take a deep breath, and please let me help you."

"Please Bill, not there...anywhere but there…." she was pleading with him and seeing the amount of blood on her hand told him now was not the time to argue.

"Where then?"

"Wherever you can keep me safe. Please promise me!"

"This goes completely against my better judgment but for now I'll agree, do you think you can walk?"

"I…I don't know"

"Okay, Let's give it a try, I'll help you."

Slowly she rose to her feet but she quickly began to wobble. Instinctively he reached to support her wrapping his arm around her waist. She yelled out in pain immediately and then collapsed into his arms. Quickly he scooped her up and was practically to the door before her guards could even respond to the commotion. His professional mask was firmly in place knowing he needed something to control his emotions. His personal feelings were too overwhelming and right now he had one mission. Get Laura somewhere safe and taken care of.

"She's hurt, she needs medical attention – get Cottle and have him bring whatever he needs to my quarters NOW!"

"YES SIR!"

One guard headed off to find the doctor while the other struggled to keep up with the Admiral who was charging ahead with an unconscious Laura Roslin in his arms.

"Make a hole"  
"Out of the way"  
Orders were yelled out as they made their way to his quarters. His mind was racing trying to contemplate multiple plans for what would come next. Ultimately he decided the best plan upon arriving would be to put her in his rack; at least she'd have a little more privacy than the couch. He was gently laying her down when the doctor came barging in with a med kit in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Adama glared at him – If the doctor wasn't so damn good at his job, he'd seriously consider finding a replacement that didn't require a 24x7 nicotine fix.

"What the hell happened? Why did I get hauled out of sick bay you should have brought her there? Tell me what's goin' on"

"I think she's in shock, she's emotionally withdrawn and after the almost hour it took me to convince her to even leave Colonial One, let alone trust me enough allow any type of physical contact, I immediately discovered she'd been bleeding pretty bad. From the looks of it, she must have been holding the wound with her hand so I'm not sure where it's coming from. She's had this disgusting thing wrapped around her the whole time. When she tried to stand she almost collapsed. I put my arm around her to help steady her and that alone put her in enough pain to cause her to pass out completely."

"You still should have brought her to me."

"I agree"

"So why the frak didn't you!"

"She wouldn't go."

"She's unconscious – she wouldn't have known."

"No – before that I told her I wanted to bring her there – she outright refused and pleaded with me not to take her there. Obviously something about it upsets her - I've never seen her like this. She asked me to take her somewhere that I could keep her safe. This is the best place I could think of."

"You still should've..." but the Admiral cut him off.

"No, I told her I wouldn't take her there, I promised and I intend to keep my word. It took me too long just to get her to start talking again." The veins in Bill Adama's neck were pulsing in anger.

"O.K., calm yourself down admiral – the last thing we need is you over the edge right now."

The doctor turned to look at Laura – "All right, young lady, let's take a look at you."

The admiral tried to excuse himself, "I'll, just wait outside."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no – you just finished telling me what it took you to get her to agree to let you help her – said you wouldn't bring her to sickbay because she asked you not to and was trusting you – what if she wakes up and doesn't see you? I don't think that would go over too well with Madame President here…. Now, talk me through this some more while I start evaluating the situation. Start from the beginning…you said she was non-responsive?"

"Yes – that's right – she was staring into space – seeming to struggle to even hear what I was saying, struggling to absorb her surroundings. When I got to colonial one Tory was trying to get her to respond as well and was not having any luck"

"Do you know where she was before the rescue?

"Yes – according to Starbuck she was in a cylon detention."

"Again? Damn!" clearly this upset the doctor and the Admiral was now looking for answers.

"What's going on?"

The doctor drew a steadying breath, "Bill"

Oh Gods, this can't be good...It's never good when he uses my first name…"You haven't had the chance to get any briefings yet so you are missing a lot of information. She was one of the big players within the resistance, the cylon's didn't like the resistance so they had it out for anyone they could connect or were trying to connect to the efforts. She had been picked up and taken in several times prior to this and I had to treat her after each time – they were progressively getting worse, more aggressive if you catch my meaning. As the frequency and duration increased I noticed more psychological changes and she became increasingly paranoid "

The bile began to backup into his throat as he listened to the doctor continue. "The long and short of it is this, if she comes too and doesn't see you, whom she trusts right now, it could send her to a very dark place. As a physician, I won't let that happen to my patient and as her friend, I'll be damned if I allow those frakking cylons to continue to harm her especially now that we're finally off that godsforsaken planet..."

"Tell me what to do Doc"

"Stay up there where she can see you – I want to assess her quickly and then bring her to – then when she's awake and calm you can step out."

"O.K."

Bill felt slightly uncomfortable with things right now – he didn't like what the doctor had insinuated about her trips to cylon detention. He looked at her, pale, thin, what had really happened down there? Guilt was growing inside him as the moments passed. He felt as though he was intruding as the doctor prepared to look her over but the Doctor had made a valid point about her state of mind and he wasn't taking any chances right now. He was trying to stay focused on her face as the doc pulled back the blanket but when the doctor gasped he knew it was bad.

Gods what the hell happened to her? His eyes took in the sight of her laying there – bruises, cuts, lacerations, all over… what could've done this? He was suddenly filled with rage – he felt a need for revenge, a desire to choke the life out of every last one of them. His mind was reeling when the doctor's voice pulled him out of it.

"Admiral...Sir...BILL!"

Bill's eyes snapped up from her motionless body to the doctor.

"She's going to be alright at least physically – I need to check her out more but I need her awake first. She was bleeding pretty badly from a wound to her side and I've managed to temporarily stop that."

"o.k., Doc, whatever you need."

"Just keep her calm." With that the doctor began to bring her to. Within minutes she was struggling to open her eyes. The pain was evident on her face.

"What..." she began searching, where was she – damn they did it again – convinced her Bill had found her – she believed she was really going to be safe only to have them pull it all away again. Paranoia started to take over and she became quickly agitated.

"Shh its okay Laura, I'm here, I'm right here – you're going to be all right, you passed out, do you remember?"

Relief flooded her at the sound of his voice. He was still there. She nodded her head and then panic struck her as her flashbacks returned to her. The last thing she remembered she was on the ship, this place was different.

"Where am I?

"Just breathe, you're in my quarters – you're safe. Laura, take a deep breath."

"No, no no no no..." she was trying to push herself away from them – as far away as she could physically get herself.

"Laura, it's me, come on, try to remember – you're safe, you're on galactica – I'm here I promised you I wouldn't take you to sickbay and I didn't – I brought you here – you're in my quarters."

She wanted so desperately to believe what she was hearing. She took as deep a breath as she could and tried to calm herself down.

"Cold" was all she could say.

"I know, I'm sorry, the doc wants to take a look at you – seems you need some patching up so to speak. I'm going to step out and let him do what he needs to do all right?"

"No!" she grasped his hand like a vice. "Please! don't leave – please stay!"

"Laura..." another soothing voice said her name – she recognized it.

"Jack?"

"Yes Madame President….welcome back, you were out for a little bit there – you've managed to give us quite a scare."

"Jack, you made it?"

"Appears to be the case yes...Look, Laura, I need to make sure you're o.k. and you know I'm going to have to ask you some tough questions. Are you sure you're o.k. with the admiral staying?"

"Jack –No more secrets." Her words were a struggle, the pain was almost overwhelming her but she couldn't let him go.

"I understand that but this could get well…delicate shall we say?"

"No, it's not going to get delicate, it already IS delicate." She lifted her gaze from Cottle to the Admiral. "I can guarantee you won't like this but I don't want to do this alone anymore."

"You're not alone, I'm right here and if you want me to stay then I'll stay." Their eyes were now locked on each other's and neither looked away when the doctor spoke.

"Laura, you realize we're going to have to remove an awful lot of your clothing to get you fixed up?"

"I trust him Jack." She still hadn't taken her eyes from Bill's. He just stood there squeezed her hand to provide whatever support he could.

"Yes ma'am – well let's see if we can start by doing something for the pain shall we?" Two injections and 10 minutes later she was in a much better place physically. She still felt the pain but was somehow detached from it. The questions Cottle was asking were the things currently was another story all together."

"How long were you in there this time?"

"26 Days I think."

"How do you know how long?"

"I tried to keep track – there were no windows but there was food so I counted the food."

"Would anyone know for sure?"

"Kara Thrace – I was with her when they came for me."

The admiral spoke up – clearly uncomfortable with where this was going – he knew Cottle's next question was going to be about what she remembered happening and he wasn't sure he could handle that, so he tried another way out "Perhaps I should get her?"

"No!" again Laura tightened the grip on his hand.

Bill looked into Laura's pleading eyes but he knew that the doctor wouldn't be asking these questions unless it was important. "Doc, what do you say, how badly do you need to know for sure how long she was there?"

"I need to know. It could be critical. I need to know what I'm up against, starvation, dehydration - she remembers 26 days but what if they didn't give her anything for days - she wasn't awake the whole time. It matters a lot."

"All right, Laura, look at me – I'm just going to make a phone call – I'll be right back"

"No, please"

"Laura, we need to know for sure." The doctor interjected.

"30 seconds, that's it – can you handle 30 seconds?"

"Promise...only 30 seconds?"

"I promise – all I need to do is call CIC and have them send Starbuck here – that's it."

"O.K."

He returned from his phone call and she grasped his hand as if it were her own lifeline.

"27 seconds – 3 to spare – not bad Admiral."

"I told you, I keep my promises."

"Bill, I'm so tired."

"I know – can she sleep doc?"

"No – not yet – she's got a concussion – we need to watch her for a little while. Laura, I need to know what happened. What did this to you? Do you remember?"

She swallowed hard before nodding yes.

"Well, come on – out with it."

Laura started to get agitated again and the Admiral interceded. "Look, Doc, take it easy – this is clearly hard for her."

"No, it's all right – It was more of the same as before, they used their hands and feet of course, I was thrown or kicked into the concrete walls and dropped to the floor a few times. The non-human models with their metal "hands" I guess you would call them…. "

"Well, that makes sense with some of what I'm seeing – but there's more. There are other bruises and wounds. What else?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know if I remember everything – they gave me injections…."

"What do you remember?"

"I have flashes of…there was a searing pain on my back and a horrible sound….I think, I can't….Jack please…" tears were now falling from her eyes.

"All right – I believe I know what you are describing from others who went in and out of there as well…it's okay….O.k. now for the really hard question – Madame President, did they take advantage of you while there?"

Laura gasped at the question and that was more than the Admiral could take. "Come on doc, give her a break..."

"I'm sorry Admiral this is the toughest part. I'm sorry I have to do this but I NEED to know. Laura, I know this is rough and I'm sorry but did they rape you?"

Laura physically recoiled from those words as did Bill.  
And just like that, there it was – the ultimate elephant in the room.

"Gods, Laura, I feel like I'm intruding – I don't need to be here for this, maybe it would be best if I just step out into the other room..."

"No, please, stay."

"I'll need to examine you – this will be the hardest part I believe but we'll go easy and slow I wish we didn't have to this but we can't avoid this part."

"It's all right Jack, I understand."

One of the guards spoke up from just outside the door, "Admiral, Doctor…Captain Thrace is here for you."

"Thank you – I need to talk to her Laura – find out what she knows I'll be right back." Cottle excused himself.

"Bill?"

"I'm right here."

"I'm so sorry"–

"Madame President you have nothing to worry about or to apologize for. I'm the one right now who should be begging for your forgiveness."

"No, it's not your fault."

"Really and who left you on that gods forsaken planet, me that's who..."

"It's not your fault Admiral…"Bill you have to know about what happened down there..."

"Shhh, it's all right, I don't have to know right now we have time…."

"Speak for yourself Admiral – Laura, as your physician, I need to know."

"I'm going to excuse myself." Bill said

"No" Laura's word barely escaped her lips. "I need you to stay"

"Look young lady I need to do an exam – the admiral should really step out for this – it's going to be very uncomfortable.

"Bill, please I…."

"It's o.k. – I'll be right over there, I will not be going anywhere you can't see me I promise." With that, Laura was given another sedative to calm her so the Doctor could really begin his exam.


	4. Chapter 4

Back Chapter 4:

Walking away from Laura at that moment was the hardest thing William Adama had done since the cylons found them and he had given the order to jump away from New Caprica…away from Laura. She had pleaded with him to stay but he knew Doc Cottle was right; This was something that required personal space and privacy. The more he was discovering what had happened to her, the more uncomfortable he was feeling.

Jack Cottle was trying to be as gentle as possible but as he worked his way over Laura's body both front and back he found there was barely any spot that was untouched…bruises, wounds and lacerations that would eventually heal. The scars she would bear as long as she lived both physical and emotional would take longer; he was smart enough to know that now was not the time to voice those concerns. He placed his hands under her head checking for bumps that could indicate concussion or other trauma. He both heard and felt her sharp intake of breath. "O.k. easy…nasty bump you've got there…."

Bill had made it as far as his desk when he heard her sudden gasp – he spun around to see Laura's hands come up and cover her face as she began to cry. Military life had taught him much about injuries but for some reason a red flag was creeping up in his mind telling him Laura's reaction was off – something was wrong he could feel it in his gut.

"Admiral…sir?"

Bill spun around….Kara Thrace…he had momentarily forgotten she was there. She stood, hands in her pockets, her longer locks of hair falling gently over her shoulders she look more like a child in trouble then a trained viper jock.

Neither seemed to be able or willing to speak and with a nod of her head in Laura's direction he knew she was seeking his permission to move into the room where Laura was. He could only nod his head in return…permission granted. If he wasn't in there to comfort her, he was glad someone else was.

"Just couldn't keep yourself out of trouble could you ma'am?"

"Kara?" Laura's voice was shaky

"You know…"she half whispered, "You should see the other guy….." One could say Kara was trying to lighten the mood but truthfully humor and sass were masks she used to keep herself together.

Laura looked at her and spoke softly, "Don't do that Kara, don't try to cover for my benefit, I thought we'd gotten passed all that? I know it looks bad, let's face it…It is bad."

As the doctor listened to the women's exchange, he was truthfully a little relieved that Laura was distracted – took some of the pressure off him. He knew the next part was going to illicit the most reaction from his patient. He was going to have to try to talk her through it – but how he wasn't sure. He cleared his throat before speaking, "Laura, I'm sorry, I have to do the internal part of the exam now – Just take a deep breath, I know this is really hard…"

Kara's head snapped up from looking at Laura to directly at the doctor….."Respectfully Doc you don't have the slightest frakking idea how hard this is…." Her statement was simple but the tone held and incredibly deep meaning.

Kara knew how Laura felt; she'd been in this same position not that long ago. She swallowed hard and her eyes welled with unshed tears and she clenched her fists as she tried to close off her emotions. She remembered how she had felt after waking up in that sham of a cylon hospital on Caprica. She remembered how she wished someone had been there to help her through it.

Returning her gaze to the woman in front of her she took a slow deep breath…."O.k., here's how we're going to do this – Laura take my hands and you hold on as tight as you need all right?"

Laura nodded her understanding – part of her wanting nothing more than her Admiral to be at her side helping her through this; but Kara was right, given the basic physical differences between the sexes, this was nothing they would ever have to endure making it practically impossible to understand how hard this truly was. Bill had been incredible so far, truthfully, she was a little scared it would all become too much for him and that he'd leave ... she'd looked towards his desk and saw him there pacing back and forth. His presence brought her a small sense of relief and he became her focal point but she found herself struggling to keep her eyes on him as she felt herself overcome with by a searing pain as the doctor continued to work.

Her eyes slammed shut, tears tracked from the corners as she screamed in pain, pleading for him to stop. "Laura, look at me" Starbuck's voice was no longer soothing, it was now strong and commanding. "Squeeze – squeeze my hands as hard as you have to – it's almost over I promise. You are the strongest woman I know. You survived New Caprica….you can do this."

The Admiral came to an abrupt stop at as his desk upon hearing her cry out and begging Jack to stop. It shook him to his very core…he'd never heard anyone he'd cared about this much in such distress before. He found himself needing to lean on the surface just to remain upright. The nausea hit him fast and hard. He'd barely made it to the head before throwing up what little he'd consumed that day.

Laura was re-positioned in Bill's rack and now that the pain of the exam was over, she had calmed slightly. She was now more concerned about the Admiral and kept telling the doctor to go check on him. Starbuck sat on the edge of the rack still holding Laura's hands as Cottle now went to go attend to his unexpected patient.

He knocked on the door, no answer. He knocked again, "Admiral? Bill? Open up."

As the door opened the Doc squeezed inside. "O.k. Bill, easy, here, this will help." He gave him an anti-nausea injection and as it started to work Bill tried to stand. He wobbled a little leaning on the wall to steady himself. Cottle laughed a little more than he meant to in that moment watching his friend.

"Mind sharing exactly what is so funny Doc?"

"Sorry Admiral, it's just, I would expect her to be throwing up from emotional distress not you."

"Who said this is emotional distress, I may have a touch of food poisoning for all you know."

"Bill, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. You've been protecting her as if she was the only thing keeping you alive. Every action you've taken since going back to New Caprica – Thank you for that by the way….has been for her. Truth is you came back for her – okay, maybe not only her but she was the biggest part. You came looking for her personally when they docked. You have done everything she has asked you without question. You paced your office like you were a caged animal during her exam. Now she's hurt and in pain and it's too much for you. Emotional distress is the end result. I never thought I'd see the day but I do have a diagnosis for you."

"Oh boy – should I sit down again for this one?"

"Love"

"What?! You're off your rocker?"

"She's gotten to you – she got to you a long time ago old man. Good or bad, you are in love with her – you wouldn't be going through this if you weren't. If you didn't care so much, you would have brought her to sick bay instead of here – you wouldn't care if she trusted you or not. You would've kept it all professional and wouldn't keep her so close to you that you can keep an eye on her every second. Don't worry Admiral, your secret's safe with me and for the record, I'd say the feeling is mutual. That, however, is a conversation for another time and I do not need to be part of it. Right now we need to get back out there and have a conversation with our newly returned former President."

As the Admiral and the Doctor emerged from the head Starbuck rose from Laura's bedside.

"Admiral – are you all right?"

"Ummm…yes….fine….just a…."

"Just a touch of mild food poisoning I believe. I gave him a shot that should put him right as rain. Now as for you Madame President that is another issue entirely. You will all be relieved to hear that I am very confident that you were not sexually assaulted – I've taken some swabs that will be run through the lab just to confirm but I don't think we'll find anything."

The room breathed a collective sigh.

"However, that is not to say that you weren't assaulted by some means. You have a lot of bruising and swelling that could be somewhat explained by the….Gods damn it this is hard."

"Doctor, just cut the crap then and tell me straight up."

"Yes ma'am…..they beat the crap out of you– the pain and bruising tell us that story. But I think they did some medical poking and prodding once they discovered that you have cylon blood running through your veins. You've got needle markings and bruises from it and if this Simon is any kind of physician, they would be checking your blood levels to keep track of….well whatever it was they were attempting."

"So what are you saying Doc?" Kara was shaking visibly as she continued. "Did they…ummm…did they do to her what they did to….to me?"

"No, there are no scars to indicate that…of course you have to remember we don't know exactly what they did to you either."

"Hold on" the Admiral broke in "What are you two talking about – Kara what happened to you? Why don't I know what's going on?"

"Sorry Admiral, doctor patient confidentiality."

"Frak you and your doctor patient confidentiality…Kara?"

"I'm sorry, I just, I….I couldn't…..I can't"

Bill crossed the room and pulled the shaking girl into his arms. "I'm sorry Starbuck, I didn't mean to push – I'm worried about you that's all."

Kara Thrace had held this secret inside for so long, she never wanted the old man to know about what she thought happened when she had returned to Caprica. The President had questioned her about what happened when they were on Kobol but she brushed it off. These two people had become the two people she looked up to most in this new world they were trying to build. She had fought for so long to stay strong. She was realizing now that she was wrong in her belief that she had to be strong for them to be proud of her.

She had become close to Laura during the occupation on New Caprica and had finally confessed her fears about what had happened to her but this was the first time the Admiral was hearing anything about it and Kara was falling apart.. Not too surprisingly, it was Laura who found a way to refocus the group.

"Kara, come here." Laura reached out her hand to the young woman.

She drew Kara down beside her on the bed as a mother would do to comfort her child. Kara snuggled beside Laura, tears continued to fall from her eyes and Laura soothingly rubbed her back.

Admiral Adama and Doc Cottle exchanged confused glances and both looked uncomfortable as if they were intruding on a private moment.

When Kara had calmed a bit, Laura continued to rub her back but looked to the doctor and asked, "What is it exactly you think they were trying to do assuming you are correct and they discovered I carry cylon blood?"

"I believe, Madame President that they were trying to come up with a backup plan to their procreation dilemma."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"We know that they cannot conceive on their own so I can't help but wonder if they're trying to make a cylon/human connection. I believe they were trying to determine if the cylon blood in your system had taken over enough to the point that it would affect your reproductive functions and allow you to create and carry a cylon/human baby."

"Jack I think we all know that I'm too old for that to even be a possibility."

"Maybe, maybe not, the truth is since your transfusion, we don't have a clear picture of what actually has happened to your body. We know it counteracted the cancer but some of your follow up exams have left some things inconclusive. It's possible it could have corrected or reset other biological aspects of your physiology."

"Well, if I remember correctly how getting pregnant works and the reality of my….shall we say personal activities, I'd say it's going to remain a mystery."

Kara had been listening to the conversation progress between Laura and the doctor and now that Laura was basically discussing her sex life Kara was feeling like a child listening to their parent. Sitting up Kara cleared her throat. "Well….I wish I could say this has been fun, but I need to get back on duty."

"Captain you don't have to go back, I can call the CAG and have a replacement called in." Adama was soft spoken with Kara after how upset she had been.

"No sir, that won't be necessary. Truth be told, I'd prefer not to hear about the president's sex life…Laura, thank you – I can't…"

"It's all right – you know I'm here anytime. I should be the one thanking you for helping me get through this." Laura smiled at her.

With a final squeeze and a nod of her head Kara released Laura's hand to stand and excused herself to resume her duties.

"I'm pretty much done myself. I think I'll follow the Captain's exit. We won't know anything more until we get your exam processed…for now you need rest. I'm going to order extra fluids and food but most important is rest….when I say rest, you realize I mean just that – no work. Understood?"

"Don't worry Doc, she won't be lifting a finger if I have anything to say about it."

"Thank you Admiral." With that Cottle left.

Adama kept looking at his feet after the doctor left. What was he supposed to do now? Something was definitely up between her and Kara but should he even ask? He was amazed at how motherly she was toward the girl but it also made him surge with happiness that Kara finally had a supportive and positive female influence. He was unsure of what he was supposed to do next, what Laura wanted him or expected him to do next or if she even still wanted him there.

"Bill? You okay?"

"Don't worry about me. Your focus needs to be on yourself right now. How about you try to fall asleep for a little bit?"

"I can't sleep here."

"Of course you can, when was the last time you slept? You've got to be exhausted. The rest will do you good."

"I cannot sleep Bill." Her voice was much more determined this time.

"Why not?" He waiting for an answer but none came. "Laura?"

"Please just accept that as my answer."

"The doc said you need rest. I have to be honest with you I'm at a loss here….I have no idea what I should say or do right now but I do know one thing and that is to follow the doc's orders….you need to sleep. I don't understand why you are so determined otherwise."

"That's when they come for me." The words were barely above a whisper. "Back on New Caprica in detention, whenever I fell asleep they would come for me – always when I was asleep. That's when they would attack me or take me to their doctor. Do you understand now Admiral? Sleep is not an option."

"But they aren't here and you aren't there…"

Laura wasn't having it and cut him off in her most presidential tone. "I wasn't aware that my personal choices were now your decisions to make!" She rolled away from him facing the wall feeling angry now…with him for pushing her to answer and at herself for trying to push him away.

Bill stood there trying to grapple with her reaction and figure out his next step. She had been terrorized by the cylons and logic may be helpful in some areas but this was a purely emotional place she was in. O.k. back pedal fast and figure out a new plan old man.

"Laura? – Can you please look at me?"

She sighed heavily and rolled onto her back. "Happy?"

"Don't" he whispered. His eyes were on hers and he wasn't going to look away. She could see determination there and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on but it struck something deep in her very core.

The air suddenly became incredibly thick.

"Bill, I…." she started what was going to be an apology but he stopped her by raising his hand.

"No…..I need to….I want you to…I'm sorry this isn't coming out right, maybe I should just go."

Laura was realizing what the look she had seen in his eyes was. He was nervous and lost and about to retreat. Her brain finally clicked with the way he'd whispered the word 'don't'. She had waited a year and a half for these feelings to surface. She cursed the cylons for almost taking it…him away from her. She needed to fix this now.

"A shower."

Bill stood there a bit in shock but mostly confused and could only say…."A…what?..."

"If you would be so kind, I'd really like to take a shower and rid myself of all the dirt of New Caprica that I brought back with me. I do, however, have a problem."

"Uhhhhh….problem?" He was flustered now. He didn't know if he was coming or going. What was she talking about?

"I'm afraid I can't make it by myself….to the shower I mean."

"What?….oh yes…right…I can check and see if someone…." He went to move towards his phone to make a call but she stopped him by grabbing his hand.

"No. I don't want anyone else to see me like this."

"Well than Kara…."

"Bill, we seem to be having a difficult time understanding each other so let me be clear. I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to call anyone else. I don't want to see anyone else right now. If I could get away with not seeing anyone else for however long it takes me to get back on my feet that would make me very happy. Now, I would like to take a shower and I would very much appreciate your help in that endeavor."

Bill seemed to be mulling over her words. He was somewhat confused and definitely reacting physically to what she had said but that would be kept in check. There was no way she would be strong enough to shower herself…but she couldn't expect or want him too….Cottle's words came back to him – 'the feelings may be mutual.' O.k. Bill, calm yourself down…..let's clarify.

"Laura, do you feel strong enough?"

"With help I can."

"And you want…MY…help?" Please gods let her say yes.

"Yes."

"And you realize that in order to do that we would both be….."

"Yes"

"Laura"

"Yes Bill…."

"A shower huh?"

"Yes."

"O.k."

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Back Chapter 5:

What was she thinking asking him to help her shower?! She was mortified and slightly excited rolled into one. Laura looked up expecting to be met by his deep blue eyes...but instead she only saw his figure retreating.

"Bill? ….Where are you going?" Laura Roslin hadn't moved from the Admiral's rack as he walked away. She was confused; weren't they just talking about a shower and that she needed help? Suddenly she got dizzy but as she took deep breaths to push the nausea down she remembered... she knew this feeling…it was happening again….it always happened this way...When the man whom she thought was the admiral turned she instead found herself looking into the eyes of Leoban.

He sneered at her "You will never escape us – Adama only pities you, can't you see it in his eyes Laura….we told you what would happen if you misbehaved…."

He walked towards her hand raised ready to strike – Laura was shrinking back against the wall – "Please NO!"

"Where's your precious Admiral now Laura? Where's your great protector?!"

"Bill!….no!….." her eyes welled with unshed tears that quickly escaped down her cheeks.

Hearing her from his desk he was quickly at her side "Shhhh, it's o.k. I'm right here"

"No, no…I'm sorry….please don't….I'll be good I promise!"

"Laura? What are you talking about? Laura….wake up….it's all right."

He was gently trying to wake her without startling or hurting her. Suddenly her eyes flew open – wider than he'd ever seen before.

"NO! Please Don't!" She raised her arms as if to protect herself.

"Laura, it's me, it's Bill" he was getting worried now – it was like she was in a trance and he had no idea how to bring her out of it – She was physically pulling away from him – why was she suddenly scared of him when she'd been calling for him just moments ago?

Something in the back of his mind was struggling to surface – an old memory from back when the boys were little – Lee had taken off to play a trick on his little brother, he'd told Zak that the bad men were going to come take him away since their parents now loved Zak more than him. Lee hadn't intended to really disappear, but he'd ended up taking a wrong turn down a busy street and ended up lost. Zak had been terrified – he thought everything was his fault and had in fact been taken since that was what his big brother had told him…As he and his parents spent hours searching for Lee, Zak had missed his nap. After they found Lee and returned home Zak finally slept overcome by exhaustion, but he'd awoke screaming – His screams had been nothing Bill or Carolanne had heard before and found nothing they said or did could calm him.

That's exactly what it seemed was happening to Laura now – what had the doctors called it?... A night terror, that was it! Now he just had to remember how they had gotten Zak through it? His mind was racing – he used to pick Zak up and walk him around his room rubbing his back until he settled back down. Well, he couldn't exactly do that here. He could try to hold her but she seemed afraid of him and he didn't want to make it worse.

"All right, Laura, listen to me, I'm going to go get a chair and move it beside the bed o.k.?" Bill was hoping some distance would calm her down. Once he settled in he realized she was still staring straight ahead – it hadn't been him that she was afraid of she was seeing something else. Maybe he could try what had worked with Zak after all but to a different degree in this situation.

Bill reached and grasped her hand, her fingers curled around his – "O.k. that's a good start" he hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Laura, please let me hold you. It's o.k. whatever it is, it will be o.k."

Bill moved closer to the bed and repositioned her on her side facing the wall so he had room to lay down beside her. Her head now rested on his arm instead of this pillow and his other arm found its way around her waist pulling her towards him, her back to his chest. "Please let this work." Damn, hadn't meant to say that out loud either.

"Shhh, Laura, it's o.k. I've got you – breathe, just breathe, deep breaths it's o.k. I'm not going anywhere I promise."

Laura was focused on Leoban's face and voice when the image of him started to twist and contort – he backed away from her and his face changed from one of vindictive pleasure to anger but he wasn't angry with her, he was talking to someone else. He was yelling now…'No! She is ours! You can't do this!' and then she realized she felt two arms around her and could hear Bill's voice.

As she came to her senses and the room came into focus around her she realized she was still in Bill's quarters and he was holding her. When had that happened? She also noticed that she was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shhh, I've got you, I won't let anything happen to you, please Laura wake up."

"Bill?" Her voice was faint.

"Yes, I'm right here. Are you all right?"

She tried to get up but quickly grabbed her head and fell back against the rack. "Whoa, easy…I've got you."

"Bill? What? I don't understand."

Bill eased himself up off the bed and laid her back gently against the pillow.

"Well….one minute you were talking to me about wanting to take a shower. I went into the head to start the water and when I came back you were asleep. So, I turned the water off and went to do some work while you rested."

"Asleep? I fell asleep?"

"Yes, you need your sleep don't you remember me telling you that? Or should I say, don't you remember disagreeing with me about that? I thought you'd finally come to realize I was right."

"What happened? I must have done something to bring you in from the other room."

Clearly he was hesitating, "Bill..."

"You called out my name, you were clearly upset, begging whoever it was to stop whatever they were doing or were going to do. You were holding up your arms almost as if trying to protect yourself, pleading with them to stop that you'd….."

"That I….what?"

"It was strange… you said that you would be good…look Laura, I'm at a loss here – the only time I've ever experienced anything close to whatever just happened was when the boys were little and Zak had night terrors. Lee had been tormenting him and well…the details don't' matter right now…"

"A Night Terror?" she asked.

"Zak would fall asleep and then we'd hear him screaming like from a nightmare but we couldn't wake him…he was in a kind of trance, terrified by what he was dreaming about. The Doctors told us it usually happens in the early stages of sleep so it's harder to wake up from because your body hadn't had the chance to even rest when a terror hits. Zak had them for years. There were many failed attempts at various things before we were able to work through it."

"Well, I guess you believe me now then?" She'd said a bit more sarcastic than she really meant. "I told you I…can't…sleep!" She turned away from him fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. She was partially embarrassed about not being able to control her tears, but it was her overall sense of despair at what she was feeling that was overwhelming her. Sometimes all you can do is cry it out. "Gods! When will this all end!?" her voice shook with emotion.

"Laura, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry Bill, just make it go away."

"How?"

"I don't know." She whispered.

"You clearly need sleep; you wouldn't have fallen asleep that easily if…"

Laura interrupted a little more upset this time, "Bill, I…" but he cut her off just as quickly.

"I know! All I'm saying is your body needs it. I don't know HOW exactly but we'll figure out a way. You aren't going to be able to stay awake forever you know that right?"

She softened at realizing he wasn't going to push this. "Yes" a small concession on her part, said in the softest of voices.

"So shall we try this again?"

"Try what again?"

"Maybe your first instinct was right, maybe a shower is just what you need. There are proven psychological benefits to a hot shower, and a clean set of clothes before facing the world again. Maybe you need to literally wash away the physical residue of New Caprica."

"Amazing, I never thought you to be one to delve into psychology Admiral."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Laura….now, do you think you can stay awake for a little bit?"

"Bill, you are so funny, I forgot to laugh." Laura deadpanned.

Bill chuckled despite himself as he went again to start the shower. Once in the head he pondered what to do next. He knew she may have the strength to walk to the shower but then what, how long would her strength last. What would he do if he had to step in and….his mouth went dry at the images flashing through his mind of what could transpire.

He began to mentally chastise himself…."This is ridiculous, how old are you? You are acting like a school boy – get over yourself. She trusts you – don't' screw this up!" taking a few minutes communing with his reflection in the mirror he took a deep breath… the decision made, he began to remove his last clean uniform, folding it neatly, and setting it aside before donning his robe and returning to the object of his current concerns.

"You still awake?" he called at he approached his rack.

"Again with the….." she lost her voice as he came into view without his uniform on and dressed in a bathrobe instead.

"Again with the what?"

"Huh?"

"You were saying, "Again with the…and then you stopped?"

"Oh, I did? I mean, yes, sorry – concussion I think…Why the change in clothes?" deflection was always a good tool.

"Laura, are you sure you're all right? You seem to be having problems with your short term memory. The shower, remember?"

"Well Yes, but why did YOU change?"

"In case I need to come in and rescue you. That is my last clean uniform and laundry doesn't come back until tomorrow so if I get called to CIC I'd rather go in dry clothes – easier than explaining how I got wet don't you think?"

"Rescue me? Bill, I don't think that will be necessary. I just need help getting there and back."

"Really, well we'll see about that since you could barely sit up a few minutes ago; I reserve the right to defer agreement on that until later. O.k. you ready?"

"Lead on Admiral." Laura tried to sit so she could stand but Bill quickly placed one arm around her back and another under her knees before scooping her up in his arms to carry her instead.

"Bill, what are you doing?"

"Helping you conserve your strength. How long do you really think you'll be able to stand for after you struggle to walk here first?"

"I'd have been fine."

"Why do you have to be so damn stubborn!?"

"Hmmmm…Character flaw?"

"All right then, down you go." Steam was beginning to surround them from the hot water in the shower as Bill gently set her on her feet but still held his arm around her waist. "You steady?"

His closeness was making her head spin – well not so much his closeness but the fact that he was out of uniform and they were very close with very little clothing. Something about it was very intimate. She stood in front of him in only her shirt and underwear. She'd rarely worn a bra on New Caprica – it was so cold there she was always layered in clothing and truth be told, hadn't really wanted to be bothered with it. Cottle had removed everything else when he was doing her exam and she'd been under the covers in Bills rack ever since.

"Thank you Bill, I think I can take it from here."

"You think so?"

"Yes, I'm fine." At least she was hoping she'd be fine.

Bill released his grip and took a step back – Laura's knees suddenly went weak and she grabbed for anything to break her fall. Unfortunately, or fortunately as the case may be Bill was the closest thing she could grab on to.

"All right, easy, I've got you."

"Maybe it's too soon. I think I should just go lay down for a while longer."

Laura was starting to feel a little uncomfortable of the prospect of what was probably going to happen but hadn't she suggested this after all?

Adama noticed the shift in her demeanor. "Laura….." his voice was lower than usual, a little hesitant even…. "Do you trust me?" he asked as he raised one hand to brush her hair back from her face.

"Do I? uh…well..uh…" she was trying to form words into sentences but it wasn't working.

"Yes or No?"

Laura took a steadying breath before speaking…"Yes"

"Good."

That said Bill gently lowered his hands to the edges of the torn shirt she'd been wearing. As he slowly began to lift it she hissed in pain and he immediately stopped.

"What? What happened?!"

"I'm not sure, my shoulder I think."

Bill kept an arm at her waist to steady her as he moved around her back to look at her shoulder. He tensed at what he saw – burn marks, bruising, hand prints and one deep gash that had split open when she tried to lift her arm.

"Well, that's not going to work. You've just re-opened a wound and keeping that arm down would be the best thing for it until it heals some more. We'll have to have Cottle come back and close that up." He was looking her over trying to figure out an alternate plan when he realized exactly how torn her shirt was. Sure it was strategically covering certain areas, but it was barely held together. His mind settled on a solution.

Deep breath Bill… "Laura, we're going to have to rip this off…"

"What? No!"

"Laura listen to me…you can't lift your arm – this thing is barely held together by threads and honestly, I think the faster we can get you out of these clothes the better."

"Admiral Adama!"

"Oh Gods! that's not what I meant! Laura, look at yourself, you're filthy. In addition to that, you've got a lot of open wounds and all that dirt rubbing against them can't be good. You trust me right?"

"Well yes, but it's just too…." She was withdrawing into herself again, right in front of his eyes.

"Too what?... stay with me…talk to me." He was trying to pull her back out.

"It's too much like THEM!" she hadn't meant to yell – Why had she even said that?! There was so much she never wanted him to have to know.

Bill didn't look away from her eyes, in fact, she wasn't even sure if he had even blinked. She couldn't look away, she felt drawn to him and yet so exposed at the same time. It felt as though he was looking right into her soul.

"I don't ever want to….I'm NOT like them."

"No….I'm sorry….I didn't mean to yell….I shouldn't have yelled."

"Well we still have to…I have an idea…"Bill reached with one hand into the drawer of the cabinet sink and came back scissors in hand. "How about a compromise Madame President?"

Laura's features relaxed slightly "Brilliant, Admiral Adama."

A few quick snips later and the remains of her shirt floated to the floor – Laura instinctively used her arms to cover herself but as she looked up she found Bill's eyes focused only on her face not wandering anywhere else where they shouldn't be.

"Well, I…umm..I think maybe it's best if you remove these he said as he hands slid from her waist down over the sides of her underwear and back up to rest again at her waist.

She cleared her throat before speaking, "Bill, I don't expect you to understand this but…I need you to keep going."

"Keep going? I don't understand."

"Hmmm…how to put this?... At first, I admit, I wasn't sure this was a good idea. But now, it's different, I feel different. The second you cut my shirt and I felt it fall away, it was almost like a weight was lifted off of me – like you said about the shower. This feels right, almost like a cleansing – I don't want anything from that place to touch me again. Can you do that for me? Can you take it all away?"

He looked at her for a minute, clearly pondering her words – processing what she said, what it meant.

"I'm sorry Laura, I can't…."

She immediately recoiled, tears started to well in her eyes, unable to understand why was he unwilling to help her after they'd come so far? She raised her hands to his chest and began to push him away but he just held her that much tighter. The tighter he held her the more she fought against him.

"Laura! Stop!" he roared.

She froze at his voice raised in anger.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell but you were going to hurt yourself. You…" he shook his head, "You have a really bad habit of completing my thoughts for me. If only you weren't WRONG most the time! Gods woman! Let me finish all right?!"

He was exasperated by her – she continually jumped to conclusions about his intentions. He would admit that maybe sometimes she wasn't wrong when she questioned his intentions towards her after all he had some very strong feelings but this wasn't the time for those thoughts.

She stood there in silence so he took that as his cue to start speaking again.

"Now…what I was trying to say that I can't take it all away – I can only do so much. It's going to take time and healing and a lot of work BUT you'll get through it and I'll do whatever I can to help you if you need or want me to."

That said, Bill took the scissors and cut through first the right and then the left side seams of her underwear quickly straightening to look into her eyes again before the discarded material could fall away to join her shirt on the floor. This time she didn't feel the need to cover herself. Her eyes had fallen closed at the feeling of the remains of her clothing falling away – the very last bit of clothing from New Caprica never to be worn again. She felt almost liberated. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes only to be met with Bills deep blue eyes looking back at her.

TBC…..


	6. Chapter 6

Back Chapter 6:

Both lost track of time – minutes, seconds, hours, neither was sure….in truth it was only a few fleeting moments that had passed all that could be heard was the ever-present hum of the Galactica around them. Time ceased to exist as they stood there staring into each other's eyes. The tension in the air was growing thicker as the moments passed. Now that their clothes no longer separated them, Bill knew he needed to speak now before he couldn't speak at all. His body was reacting to her proximity and as much as he wanted to allow his eyes to wander he refused to allow any action on his part to make her feel anything less than respected in the moment. His mind knew the gentlemanly thing to do but his body was begging him to act on his desires.

"You…umm…you better get in there before the hot water runs out." His voice cracked as he found his mouth to be drier than he'd expected.

"Bill…you all right?"

He quickly cleared his throat willing is voice to return to normal. "Yes" he half croaked, half coughed. "I'm just fine…must be the steam getting to me. Now, in you go ….and remember, you have a lot of open wounds. I can tell you from experience it's gonna sting before it feels better. I'll be right here if you need me."

"What would I ever do without you Admiral?" She shot a quick smile over her shoulder as she turned toward the shower. Slowly she moved, stepping in first with her foot, then the rest of her leg, slowly edging under the water – he had been right, as usual – she hated it when he was right. It did sting – a LOT.

She'd closed her eyes against the pain and as she opened them, she realized she was looking at gray walls all around her and she felt very closed in – closed in by gray walls – gray walls had recently become very familiar to her and very gingerly she reached out to set her palm against one. She wasn't feeling the hot water rushing over her, instead she felt cold – the cold gray concrete walls from detention - the flashback hit her before she realized what was happening.

Voices mocking her – laughter, spiteful words of hatred and anger. They were urging the Doral model on as he held her by the throat against the wall – he'd stripped her of her clothing hoping to shame her into agreeing with their demands, but she wasn't giving in just as she hadn't given in before. So, he again, switched to a more physical approach. She could feel the breath leaving her and she was almost hoping she would actually die. She couldn't help but feel more and more that dying would be the only way to be freed from her captor's torment.

Surprisingly the Eight 'Boomer' model stepped in and reminded him that she was too important to kill. She would only become a martyr and that would only inspire the insurgency not end it as they were hoping to persuade her to do.

Doral was out of breath from the encounter and now angry at being interrupted he had yelled at her to leave them alone – he wouldn't kill the precious former President. Instead he lowered her to her feet then quickly releasing her throat only long enough to backhanded Laura across the face causing her to stumble a few steps. Rounding on her, he proceeded to hit harder this time sending her reeling backwards slamming her head against the concrete. In that instant, everything went black.

Bill was starting to get nervous as he stood outside the shower – she'd been in there a while – she would most probably be running out of hot water soon and while he started to ask her questions out of nervousness she had yet to respond to a single one. The first couple of times he figured she had her head under the water and probably hadn't heard him but now he wasn't so sure.

"Laura?" nothing…. "Laura? Are you O.K.? Laura you are making me nervous now… if you don't answer me I'm going to have to come in there…" He was hoping that might be enough to at least get her to answer him but he was greeted only with silence. "Laura – I'm going to count to three and then I'm coming in…."

"One…." His hands quickly untied the knot around his waist that had kept his bathrobe in place.

"Two…." He pulled the robe from his shoulders hanging it on the hook and turned to face the shower.

One final deep breath and…. "Three…" Bill pulled the curtain aside but his eyes were not met with anything he had been expecting. Instead it was a sight before him that practically broke his heart.

Squatting in the far corner of the shower – Laura Roslin was holding her arms around her knees – head fallen forward.

He reached out to her as he called to her…. "Laura…."

As his hand reached to touch her, she gasped in alarm and as her head turned the blast of water to her face quickly brought her back to reality. She sputtered and wiped at her face trying to clear her sight.

"Are you o.k.?"

"Yes I….I think so….Ow! FRAK! She had just lifted her arm again as she had reached to push her hair away from her face re-opening the same wound from earlier.

"All right, easy let's just keep this arm down here" – he was tending to her shoulder when Laura suddenly realized her Admiral was now naked in the shower with her, water flowing over their bodies and his hands were essentially caressing her at the moment.

"Ummm Bill?" she swallowed hard.

He did not respond as he was distracted by her injury and didn't quite catch the tone in her voice.

"Bill!" – This time more urgent – that caught his attention and she tried to continue "I….uhhhh….this is a little….ummmm"

She was shifting her weight from one foot to the other clearly nervous and then it dawned on him…their current state of undress became suddenly apparently and now he was feeling a little uncomfortable himself –

"Laura – I…." he stopped realizing he was trying to have a conversation with the back of her head. He grasped her shoulders and turned her around to face him.

"Laura….give me your eyes." His voice was barely above a whisper and he gently used his fingers to lift her chin to raising her gaze to meet his.

"Bill, I….I can't"

"Can't what?"

"I can't do this – you, me, us – it's just too soon…with everything they did to me I'm not ready…"

"Whoa…. slow down…. that's…Everything that they did to you? Oh my….wait… you think….Oh Laura, please...that's not what I'm after. THIS, right here, right now, this is not about pleasures of the flesh. This, right now, it's about more than that. It's you and me, in this moment. It's about you, trusting me enough to help you through this however I'm able to. I agree, this could quickly become something physical for most people but I need you to understand that this is so much more than that. This is us sharing such a deep connection that we can see everything externally physical about the other but instead of stopping at that level, it's much deeper…what we're sharing is something sacred for me. It's about having trust and faith and hope that we can come out stronger on the other side of adversity because WE – you and I together, can do this. I swear to you right here and right now, you don't have to go through this alone."

Laura stood there a bit in shock – her mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she was able to squeak "Bill…I….my…." That was about all she could squeak out as she stood there staring at him. She'd known she could be left breathless by him, when it had happened before, it had been under the New Caprica moon as music filled the air and people celebrated. A time from before the cylons returned. It had been a kiss so filled with promise and passion that it filled her completely. Now, his eloquent words had done the same. They had touched not just her heart, but her very soul and that gave her a single solitary spark of hope – maybe she wasn't doomed to a downward spiral of pain and despair after all. Maybe, just maybe with a little help she could come through on the other side.

Bill now cupped her cheek in his hand before continuing. "Now, with all that said, I want to be clear. There is not a single bit of me that doesn't want to you in all of the many ways that we have both imagined many times. Laura….I want you very much….and I won't lie it is hard not react….but….I have no doubt that there will be time for that later."

Her eyes were full of fresh tears as she simply nodded her head in consent trusting in him with everything she had.

He gently took her face in both hands running his thumbs just under her eyes to wipe away her tears. Holding her head in place he looked deep into her eyes and pulled her to him but instead of a passionate kiss he simply pressed his forehead against her own closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before releasing a soft. "Okay."

The remainder of the shower was silent. Bill gently washed and rinsed Laura's hair for her since her shoulder prevented her from doing it herself. He took his time savoring every moment – he wanted only to take care of her in every way he could. If this was how he could help her heal than he was going to put his full effort into it. He took the washcloth and gently washed away the layers of dirt and smudges on her face – bringing her dull skin back to the beautiful pink glow he knew was hidden underneath. He repeated this process on her arms – layers of dust and grime slowly disappearing revealing lots of black and blue bruising in its place but he knew that would heal with time.

Her back had proven to be more difficult – she had hissed and clenched her firsts a couple of times in pain but that was more from water reaching the lacerations and burns than anything he had done. Great care was taken around the wound to her side which Doc Cottle had manage to close earlier with stitches. His memories suddenly crashed down on him bringing him back to Colonial One when he first saw her bloodstained hand and then a fast forward to realizing all of her injuries as Cottle had examined her. Suddenly a gentle hand laid against his chest startling and soothing at the same time bringing him back to the present. Again he caught her eyes questioning without words. He simply nodded and continued on.

She was completely vulnerable to him as he knelt in front of her to carefully attend to her chest and stomach which had angry whip welts and more bruises and burns – he could even swear he saw a few angry bite marks on her breasts but he kept his anger in check instead making a mental note to attempt that conversation at another time. Finally his hands made their way down her legs gently grazing her hips, then slowly down her thighs, past the knees, soothing her calves and finally her ankles and feet.

Completing the first part of his task the water was turned off and Bill repeated his same trail over her body. Instead of a washcloth using a towel to gently pat her skin dry again ending on his knees in front of her. This time, however, he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He cried for her, for her pain and for the guilt he felt for allowing it to happen. She had already told him he hadn't ALLOWED anything to happen. Gods knew he couldn't have controlled the situation any more even if he'd been there – he knew he wouldn't have been able to stop them and truth be told that would have been harder for him to have dealt with – being there unable to stop it would have been too much for him to bear. In this moment though this was his release.

She closed the small distance between them and pulled his head to rest against her stomach with one arm as she wrapped the other around his broad shoulders reaching as far as she could. His arms found their way up around her waist in response and after the few moments of weakness he allowed himself he took a deep breath, rose to his feet and got them both dressed in clean sweats and tee-shirts. Again he lifted her and carried her back to his rack, This time there was no attempt to protest she just enjoyed the feeling of safety he was providing her.

She was settled laying down again and he was perched on the seat next to her holding her hand in silence. Finally he decided to try to see what she would share.

"Would you like to tell me what happened?" he asked.

"Well, we just took an incredibly long hot shower and I, for one, feel much better after it." Could she be lucky enough for him to let it go at that…

"Laura, that's not what I'm talking about and you know it."

Damn…..that would have been too good to be true. He wasn't going to let this go…"Bill I….." she stopped as her eyes met his and she saw the hurt there as if he already knew she was about to shut him out again…No – she couldn't do it, not now. He deserved more than that.

"I'm not sure where to start."

Bill slowly released the breath he'd been holding thankful she'd not put up the wall between them.

"How about you start at the beginning so we don't...?" He paused, seeing instant anxiety rising in her eyes he decided on a different path.

He cleared his throat..."No, I have a better idea…..how about you start with what happened in that shower before I came in. I know something upset you."

Slightly relieve as she was thankful to not have to deal with the whole story right now she replied with a dry "Right to the point there Admiral?"

Bill momentarily wondered if he'd pushed too soon until he found a small glimmer of sassiness in her eyes. Leaning slightly forward he replied "Would you really have it any other way?"

Laura took a deep breath "Touché sir….."


End file.
